The dreaded visit

I made it nearly 3 years before I finally caved. Millions of speeches to concerned Chinese friends or coworkers, countless explanations and feelings of superiority have passed...until this past month.

I went to the hospital.

Every time that I've had just a cold, or a stomach bug, or even been feeling just a little "down", I've been told that I should go. And I've refused. I've spent many cell phone minutes explaining that "sometimes we just get sick" and that all we need is rest and maybe some OTC wonder. I've even called a doctor friend in the U.S. to confirm that I was correct in my home remedies (thanks Dr. Watson!). And I've been fine!

I've been through food poisoning, parasites, a kidney stone, countless colds, allergies, a huge allergic reaction to some shrimp hidden in my food, and whatever else with nothing more than my bag full of meds that I brought from America, sometimes picking up some prescriptions from a pharmacy (you don't need written prescriptions from doctors to pick up what you need, and since many have the english (is it english?) name, you can find out what you need and pick it up on your own), and lots of water.

But yes, our friends and coworkers over here are usually quite insistent that what we should really be doing is going post-haste to the hospital. And after a recent spat of bad health, I finally gave in.

The "hospital" here is also what we would call "the doctor's office." I'm not sure, but from what I can tell...there aren't really "doctor's offices" over here....the hospital is the only option.

Two weeks ago I came down with a cold and an intestinal bug simultaneously. After 2 days of whatnot, I realized that no amount of drinking water was keeping me from dehydration, and no amount of pepto was fixing the problem. With the cold and cough I was worried that the flu had got me, so I finally shrugged my shoulders and followed a Chinese friend to the hospital.

Then again yesterday, I came down with the same stomach bug and was worried that it was a recurring thing. After a day of vomiting, I again called up a friend and made my way back.

The first thing you notice about the Wuhan hospital is the level of you-it-yourself efficiency. This cuts the wait time in half, but if you're shaky and nauseous, it's also a chore. First you register and get what looks like a credit card with your patient number on it, and a little booklet for the doctor to write you diagnosis in. They don't keep records themselves and the only patient files are the booklets that you carry yourself.

Then you see the doctor--in both cases I was sent to the emergency room, though I'm assuming that might be because I'm a foreigner? I was seen immediately in an informal setting...a small room with about 5 other patients waiting. The doctor heard my symptoms and sent me for blood work (and a chest xray the first time). The doctor prints out a list of the procedures that you need, then you walk to the cashier and pay for them. They swipe your card and you walk to the blood station, or the x ray room or whatever.

When your results are ready, you go to a little electronic station and swipe your card, and the station prints out your results. I was given my xray to keep--it's now decorating my refridgerator. Then you walk back to the doctor and let him/her read the results and write in your booklet the diagnosis.

From there, it's back to the cashiers to pay for your prescription, then to the prescription station to swipe your card, which is like placing an order because they immediately pull it together from behind the desk. You pick up your prescription and then head to the dreaded transfusion room for your treatment.

This was why I've avoided hospital visits since I began living here. In China, the doctors all prefer to put patients on IV drips over prescribing pills. From what I've heard, the Chinese (generalization) don't like taking pills, and often stop taking them as soon as they begin to feel better, instead of completing the full round of medication. This can lead to the creation of superviruses or superbacteria or other horrible things. So they get IV treatments here instead. Sometimes the procedure can be completed in one day, but sometimes the patient must return for 3-7 days in a row for an IV treatment every day. Ugg.

So yeah...I get a little squeamish about IVs. It's just weird having a needle stuck into your arm. My first trip, I begged the doctor for pills instead. My translator just kept saying "IV is better. Doctor say IV is better." The second trip, I didn't even bother.

After walking all around the hospital, swiping cards and picking up test results, you get your prescription and take it to the transfusion room, which is a large room filled with about 100 chairs with metal poles mounted to the sides of them. The dead and dying sink into the chairs languidly and stare into nothingness (dramatization). You wait your turn while they mix your meds into an IV bag and sit at the counter while they inject you, then follow a nurse through the maze of bodies, filled with terror that someone will trip and rip the cord out of your arm. You are placed in a chair and your bag is hung from the metal pole above you, while an old man gapes open mouthed at you, the foreigner across the aisle. And then you sit, for an hour or longer (two and a half today), while a nearby tv showcases an American Idol style show with girls in glittery too-toos singing Beijing opera.

When your drip is done you press a little button next to your chair, the nurse comes and removes your needle, and you go home. I will say that the drip did work wonders with whatever intestinal bug I've been getting. And that the whole thing is AMAZINGLY cheap...I think I spent the equivalent of $40USD for a chest xray, blood test, and IV drip the first time, and about $20USD for the blood test and IV drip this time. It was also fast...from entry to transfusion room, I never had to wait in line for longer than 5-10 minutes.

So I'm a little over my fear of the hospital, but am also hoping that those two experiences will be the only ones I have. And despite the fast service, I will say that I miss being assigned a room and being able to sit and wait while the doctors and nurses gather my test results for me and bustle in and out. It was pretty difficult having to stand and walk all around from here to there....but I can see how it speeds things up.

According to the doctor, my first visit was a stomach virus and my second one was food poisoning. All in all, I'm thankful that I haven't had any more serious troubles and that I've had Chinese friends to join me and help translate for me. I feel like a pro at living in China now--the thing I was most hoping to avoid has come and gone and come again...and I'm still ok! And now able to share with all of you the experience! I wish I could post pics because I took a couple today...maybe when I return to the US I'll have a couple a picture posts to finish out my Chinablog existence!

That'll show 'em!

So I was reading China Daily, the main english language newspaper published over here and had to laugh at this story.

One feature of fast food in China that I'll miss is that both KFC and McDonalds offer home delivery. You call and within 30 minutes, a guy on a little electric bike with a heated box on his back appears with your food. It takes laziness and gluttony to new levels.

So apparently last week, KFC had an online promotion where customers could go online at 10 a.m., noon, and 5 p.m. (or something like that) and print off coupons to bring in for what must have been a pretty good discount. But after the 10 a.m. promotion time, the stores began seeing the coupons for the other two times showing up in the stores, despite the fact that they hadn't yet released those coupons online. Since they were unable to discern between authentic coupons and the counterfeit coupons, the main KFC office told all stores to discontinue the promotion and stop accepting any coupons. The KFC stores posted signs on the doors saying that they wouldn't take any coupons for the day but didn't explain the reason behind the change in plans.

Customers in one city were apparently pretty peeved that their coupons were rejected and found what I consider to be a pretty clever way of showing their displeasure. After not finding a satisfactory response for the rejection, about 18 customers took seats inside the KFC and waited...

for McDonalds delivery!

That's right, they called McD's for their meal, had it delivered to the KFC down the street, and sat there eating in protest. It's just so catty and shows such gumption that I wish I were there. As Katera put it, it was a KFC Sit-In!

If only we could direct the righteous indignation towards more worthy causes...but for now, it was a story that made me smile.

The little quirks of language

Some of my students at one of our school picnics (Tomorrow, West, Alice and Anita)

Wendy, Alice are two of my favorite students

Josh and I hanging out at a company function

I do a great deal of co-teaching with my new company, which is a nice feature that combines a native speaker with a Chinese teacher for the class. At its best, it's a really helpful combo--if I can't explain an idea, the Chinese teacher can translate for me, if they need added cultural references, the native speaker provides it. The operation reminds me of the adage, "A natural baseball genius shouldn't coach." There are some tweaks of language that are really difficult for a native speaker to explain...because we just DO it, or SAY it...and we don't know why. A Chinese teacher who has studied and mastered the language can explain why to students who are going through what they went through to grasp English.

However, at its worst, sometimes co-teaching involves the teacher delivering the whole class without making any use of the native speaker. (Or visa versa, I'm sure) As part of the idea of "saving face," the native speaker is NEVER to correct a Chinese teacher in front of the class. This means that if you are co-teaching with a teacher who doesn't see the need for a native speaker in their class, you must sit back as countless little errors make their way into the English speaking world. Ultimately, it doesn't matter much--the kids will improve anyway and it's not helpful to nitpick. But the other day, I was bored sitting in a class and not teaching...so I started making note of some of the errors. Some are not actually errors, just over-thought explanations for usage. Here are some of the things my students were taught:

AGAIN, let me say that this is not a big deal AND that many of these teachings stem from the fact that we native speakers have the innate ability to choose one word over another...while the ESL teachers are forced to come up with some REASON or METHOD to explain WHY. And OBVIOUSLY from a quick scan of this blog, my respect for the sanctity of English grammar and vocabulary is somewhat lackluster. This isn't to make fun of the Chinese teachers, it's just to laugh at how hard it is to teach a foreign language:

-Do not EVER say "you choose"...instead say "it's up to you"

-softball is baseball played with a cushy ball

-when a "love triangle" includes more than 3 people, you must call it a "love rectangle," "love pentagon" etc

-when describing a "3rd wheel", you can also have a "5th wheel" or "7th wheel"

-say "I need some minutes" when you need a break

-If referring to 50% of people, do not use the word "some," instead choose the word "many."

-Americans never eat vegetables, and when they do, there are only 5 that they eat, and they are always boiled

-say "office worker" instead of "business person"

-you must always open a conversation with a British person with a comment on the weather.

-pronounce "hurricane" as "hurri-cun" and "volcano" as "voe-can-a"

-calling someone "skinny" or "thin" is always an insult

-it's okay to describe someone as "fat," but you should probably say "obese" instead...which is pronounced "obase"

-explaining a body-type as "pear shaped" or "apple shaped" can extend to whatever vegetable/fruit you happen to think that person resembles..."potato shaped," "carrot shaped," "cucumber shaped," were some examples

-Finally (and this falls more under "ESL Students say the darndest things), students gave a presentation on marriage customs and throughout the presentation referred to "firecrappers" without being corrected by the teacher. I mentioned to them after class dismissed that it was "firecrackers" instead. The 4th grader in me was giggling though.

Wow--I'm here again!

A little shot of my favorite part of Wuhan, public dancing in all the main squares and intersections across the city every weekend evening

If anyone still checks this blog, I'm still here in China! The internet proxies we use to access blocked sites keep getting shut down and then new ones pop up just as fast, so it's a whirlwind when it comes down to it. This one is working NOW, but who knows, maybe by the time I finish this post, will have disappeared. Still no pictures.

Things over here are great, winter has passed and all of Wuhan is blooming. I live near the famous Wuhan University, which every Spring is inundated with photographers and tourists for its huge assembly of blossoming cherry and plum trees. I also live near East Lake, the largest city lake in China (or something like that), which also has a park of blossoming trees and beautiful scenery. This means on sunny weekend days, this side of the city is teeming with more crowds than I've seen during my whole stay in China. It also means traffic gridlock.

So for all the wonders of the weather, I've been doing A LOT of walking! Ahh, Wuhan. The city is in the middle of major bridge and tunnel construction, building a subway and elevated highways all over the place. Since it is doing this construction simultaneously, shutting down or narrowing major boulevards for future glory, we're all in a bit of a funk, traffic wise. It seems that at any gathering of friends, we all arrive disgruntled and tired from crammed buses, insane taxis, and aggressive foot traffic. I miss the days of a Sunday stroll!

pic of some ever present Wuhan construction

But, China is still worth it! I'm mostly just updating in case I don't have a chance in the future, so I'll leave you with an edition of "ESL students say the darndest things!" (some of these might be altered by my memory)

-- A few months ago I invited a student over to my place for brunch. However, I didn't realize that my text message spelled brunch as "crunch" until the student replied that she'd love to have "crunch" with me and really looked forward to it! I imagine her searching the internet for the explanation of the Western "crunch".

--Also a few months ago, in class as I was teaching, my whiteboard marker dried up. A student raised his hand and said he would go get me some "extraordinary markers." "Wow," I thought, looking forward to having a marker deemed extraordinary. China is a nation of superlatives, but I found it puzzling. The student brought me two normal markers, and needing to move on with class, I forgot. Until after class, when the student showed me the supply closet stocked with "extraordinary pencils, extraordinary markers, and extraordinary stools." I almost didn't want to correct him, after all, wouldn't it be nice if we viewed all "extra" items as "extraordinary"! Maybe we'd see life in a much more positive light!

--A friend had to cancel a meeting with a student. When she apologized for the schedule change, her student replied that it was ok and that "Maybe it's my patience that will lead to our great meet!"

--After class, I joined some students at a city park that has some amusement rides. The students were so excited that we were going to ride the "multi-touch cars" or the "touch each other cars" or the "touch touch cars". Finally, I convinced them that it was Chinglish and to start saying "bumper cars" instead. They must have misheard me, because later that night I got an email from a student saying that she had so much fun on the "touch-and- bump-her-cars".

--In a culture class discussing the words for dating and relationships, I asked my students what we call a woman who is "with" a married man...ready to teach "mistress" and "the other woman." Students yelled out in unison "Second milk!" which is the direct English translation of their word for it. Except for one student, who instead yelled out "Sl_t!" I know it's inappropriate, but it was pretty funny.

--I teach a video class where I show a DVD with actors from the early 90s showing various scenarios; ordering food in a restaurant, asking for directions, etc. In one video, a man is at the office and has a cold. We pause the video to practice the English words for his symptoms. For some reason, all of my students told me he had a "snoofy nose and cottled throat." I still can't figure out where that came from!

That's all for now! We'll see how much access I have in the coming days and I'll try to update when I can! Take care and enjoy the Spring!

Racket and Red Glare--Happy New Year

fireworks exploding against my apt building

Happy New Year everyone! It is 2:45 in the morning and the festivities have finally quieted for the night--though wait....nope, there are some firecrackers going off now.

It's a sound not unlike a giant bowl of Rice Krispies, or demolition crews,...or intensive ground assault warfare, depending on how you look at it. And it began at 7 a.m. this morning--New Year's Eve.

In case you don't know the story, Spring Festival, a.k.a. Chinese New Year, holds the myth of the Nien, a monster that would visit villages on the first day of the new year and eat children. The villagers learned that the Nien was blinded by the color red and was scared away by loud noises (he sounds more like an untrained puppy to me). So now each year, the new year is ushered in by fireworks, firecrackers, red coats for children, red door frame banners, and red lanterns.

I slept through the morning racket by turning up my space heaters and allowing their hum to overpower the outdoor barrage. Then later in the day, after coffee and bundling, I walked out to see the city. It was barren--empty streets and shuttered shops, only perpetuating the war zone atmosphere. Snow fell softly all afternoon but the air smelled of gunpowder.

In the evening I sat in my window with the windows of the opposite building showing families sitting together at huge meals or gathered in front of the tv. Beijing televises a big countdown to the New Year...sans Dick Clark I'm assuming. The firecrackers ringing from all sides of the city sounded like rain popping on a tin roof. Every 30 minutes or so a large cannon shot sounded and for some reason I kept wanting to yell "The British are coming!" after each blast shook the glasses in my sink.

In the hallway outside the door, children periodically took a break from their family time to throw those little poppers that I loved and hated during all the old fourths of July. Tiny packets of explosives the size of fingernails--it made me remember all that fear and exhilaration of crushing them between my palms on a dare from the neighborhood boys.

To give an example of the ongoing onslaught, I took a log for about 30 minutes of the intervals of explosives, there were maybe 2 minutes of quiet, but mostly noise overlap:

5:33 p.m. --quick round of firecrackers
5:34-5:42 --long round of firecrackers directly below my building
5:42-5:46 --distant firecrackers
5:43 --fireworks join in, one round to the east and another from the south
5:45-5:47 --firecrackers directly opposite my building
5:46 --firecrackers now under my window
5:48-5:56 --distant firecrackers in waves
5:56 --cannon boom
5:53-5:58 --fireworks a block away
5:58-6:10 --firecrackers on and on and on

Finally, at 11:45 the real show began. I rode the elevator to the top floor but the roof had been locked. When I got to the ground, I could see why. Fireworks came shooting from the square in front of my building and exploded somewhere between the 15th and 30th floors. I could see the sparks shooting into my own window. Thank goodness I wasn't sitting by it to see the sights!

For one whole hour, the fireworks shot up from every block, bursting like Wuhan was sprouting Spring flowers in the sky. The blitz had no pause or ebb. There was no regard to proximity of people, buildings or foliage--360 degrees of explosives. It was like the whole country was full of overzealous teenagers showcasing their bravado by betting who could shoot the fireworks closest to the building without setting it on fire (a betting contest I witnessed during my misspent youth). The sky was that weird orange that occurs when city lights are reflected off of a haze of smoke.

I watched the grandparents show their gkids how to light sparklers and watched the children jump up and down at every new string of firecrackers lit. So many windows glowed with families watching from behind glass. The apartment security guards made sure that some of the fireworks were set off from our main square, but eventually gave up when it seemed that every corner had a box shooting in rapid succession a stream of fireworks. I stood mostly in the street and then joined some crowds with a coworker before finally returning to my warm apartment once it seemed that the skyward celebrations had moved somewhat away from my building.

Tomorrow is New Year's Day and will probably feature much of the same--big family meals and general auditory bombardments. I think it's all pretty lovely--though I realized today that prolonged firework displays of any kind make me crave a good grilled hot dog and a coke. American girl to the core.

Pics of US and Canada: Holidays 2009-2010

Because I can no longer post pictures here on my blog, feel free to follow the below link (you'll have to copy and paste it into your address bar) to see some pics from my trip home to the States and Canada. It's open to anyone, so you don't have to have facebook to be able to see it.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2051349&id=147800610&l=6c0f56474d

Included are pics of home and our award-worthy Christmas tree, snowy snowy Tennessee, an AWESOME trip to Canada to spend time with my brother and check out his new northern life, a New Year's Eve concert at Niagara Falls headlined by the oh-so-rockin band STYX, and various other fun times. I didn't take my camera along for many of the other fun moments of my trip--coffees with so many old friends, revisiting my favorite mountain spot in SW Virginia, basking in the aisles of WalMart and Target etc...but these are enough to remember what a blessing it is to come home from time to time.

Chinese New Year (called Spring Festival here) is coming up this weekend and all of Wuhan is getting ready: the supermarkets are full, red lanterns and red door banners are hung everywhere, and every night for the past few days has been filled with fireworks here and there. Spring Festival features annually the largest human migration in the world as the migrant workers of the southern factories make their way back to their hometowns to be with family on this important holiday. I passed the long-distance bus station on the way to work yesterday and it was a teaming sea of people.

This is my first year to stay in China for the holiday. As a university teacher, I previously took advantage of our month-long winter break to head south--backpacking through Southeast Asia. This year, the private English-training company I work for gets most of its students during the month of the festival as college students sign up during their break to improve grades or prepare for tests. So we've all been pretty busy with classes.

A student today asked me if I was hoping for a lot of luck in the coming year. It made me think back at all the "luck" ...a.k.a. "blessings"...I've already had. I've walked down quiet paths with the light of the Eiffel Tower ahead of me, I've scrambled up ancient temples and jumped into jungle waterfalls. I've seen the sun set and rise from the Great Wall. I've sat for hours with friends at dinners and over coffees laughing until my sides hurt. I've seen the World's Largest Buffalo statue in North Dakota, the World's Largest Public Square in Beijing and the World's Largest Buildings (well...at the time) in Kuala Lumpur. I've felt snow formed from the mist of Niagara Falls fall on me while listening to STYX ring in the New Year. I've sunbathed on beaches, whitewater rafted through gorges, and roadtripped through mountains with my awesome family. I've had adventures. I've had young love. I've danced. I've seen Bruce Springsteen in concert.

Anyway--I use this blog too often to ramble about all the cool things I've been able to do. It's just bizarre. It's bizarre that I get to have a life that is so much more than what I've ever imagined. I'm just feeling really grateful this week! :)

I'll update some more about Chinese New Year as the week progresses and once I get a few days off work. Hope you are all staying warm wherever you are!

Back to the future

Welp, I'm back. Sitting in my semi-warm apartment in Wuhan, listening to various construction noises that are pounding their way through my doors and windows despite the fact that it's a Saturday morning. Jetlag has mostly worked it's way out of my system, but I'll confess that every time I cross the Pacific I swear that I NEVER want to do it again. I think I actually enjoyed jetlag my first year in China--it was a new experience and I was amazed at how it effected me and my body. Now, well, I'm over it. It's tiresome and boring and makes me feel soo discombobulated and icky. I suppose a little of the magic is gone for me! hahah.

All grouchiness aside, I'm very grateful to be back here. This is my final round in China, and after a great rest at home I feel much more ready to seize it, enjoy every moment (ok, maybe every moment sans jetlag!) and really live it up while I'm here. I love China, I love my friends, and I love being here. I'm really thankful for the life I've been given.

I don't have much to share...am actually wondering if this blog has become a bit redundant. I've lived here for so long that it sometimes feels as if there's not much new to reflect on in this online diary. But here are a few things:

I brought home a bunch of my books and exchanged them for some new ones to bring back with me. I've been flipping through some of them, and it's funny how being far from home in another country makes you value silly things. Like a receipt for stamps that I found stuck into an old book as a bookmark. It's from the Green Hills post office in Nashville--I bought a book of first class stamps for $14.76 on July 12, 2007. In the States, I'd just toss it into the garbage--but for some reason here, I find myself getting melodramatically nostalgic and poetic, holding it in my hand like a treasure; "This is from America. This is from my old life." hahaha--I'm TOTALLY exaggerating, but it's a tiny bit like that for a split second when I find these things! I never end up throwing them away, just placing them back where they were found and realizing briefly how unconsciously there are so many little things that I miss.

This year I didn't bring back my usual suitcase packed with a year's supply of U.S. goodies: toothpaste and favorite candy or tea, lotions, beauty supplies, cooking supplies etc. I just kind of figured that I've learned to "make do" fairly well without so many of the items I used to "need" from the States, that I might as well keep it up. Plus, and this is the more likely explanation, I didn't want to bring back so much luggage this time!

I've discovered that when I'm feeling out of place, my coping mechanisms are 1) must-see TV and 2) driving/riding around aimlessly staring out of the window. My dvds of Friends, The Office, and 30 Rock are lifesavers--I'm not one who likes a tv going at all times, but when I am going through anything emotional, I'll admit that my first reaction is to have shows that make me smile and laugh running whenever I'm hanging out in the living room. They help pull me out of my own head. Also, I already shared that my primary activity when I was first back in the States was just driving around...and now that I'm back in China, I've spent a few of my spare hours riding around on the buses, just staring out at all of Wuhan and reorienting myself. I like this. Maybe I'm a bit more introverted than I thought, because these solitary activities help me to be more ready for social time with people--it clears up all the wandering thoughts crammed into my head!

Finally, I've noticed that I've totally stopped trying to decipher all the ways in which China is different from the U.S. Maybe I'm just bored with the activity, or maybe I've just gotten to know it well enough to know that there's no real comparison. Stupid cliche: it's apples and oranges. Or apples and green beans. Or apples and doornobs. Whatever the case, it seems I'm done with trying to attempt it.

Those are my random thoughts from my first week back! I'm excited to share over the next months what the Father will do with my final term in China and what He reveals as the plan for the next chapter of my life! Please Lift me Up if you read this, that I can be focused while here and that I can have the eyes to see what should come next!

PS...in case you wondered, the back to the future reference is just because Wuhan is 13 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time...so I'm always in the "future" while over here. It's silly...but it's a joke I never stop using. ;)