Where Everybody Knows My Name

So much has changed over these past three years. When I first came, there were about 3 Western restaurants other than the ever present McD's, KFC, and Pizza Huts. Now, we can choose from 7 or 8 good Western places, plus sushi, Starbucks and Papa Johns. And the best of these is Helen's.

About 2 months ago, a friend and I were chatting in the elevator of our apartment when a Chinese girl tried to hand us a flyer. Nearly ignoring her, we said "bu yao" (don't want) and were about to continue our conversation when she began speaking pretty good English and told us that her aunt was opening a Western restaurant nearby. The flyer advertised macaroni and cheese, hamburgers and other good things. When they opened, we were some of their first customers.

Me and Susan, the girl who first told us about Helen's

I've mentioned many times that there are plenty of places that claim to have Western style food, and many Chinese people think that they are eating Western food...but for the foreigners, it's the equivalent of a "Chinese Mandarin chicken salad" from Wendy's...not quite Chinese. Not quite good. The "salads" come with mayonnaise as dressing. The "sandwiches" have Chinese "ham" and fried eggs on them w/cucumbers and carrot slices as toppings. The "chicken pasta" comes with bones.

But Helen's is real. Real hamburgers, real cheese, real nachos, real salad dressing. And it's at the base of my apartment. So for the past two months, it's been our clubhouse. Helen is one of the sweetest Chinese women I have met and I am now part of the family. I call her my auntie. We go so often that we often get free food and always get 10 percent discounts. I've had two big parties there so far and brought plenty of friends there to bring her business, so it's a good trade.

Helen and Ping (Ping is wearing a wig for my wig party!)

Now when I go in, they usually know what I'll order. The servers have become friends with all of us; a coworker is teaching two of them how to play guitar, we have met their children, they come to hang out with us after work. It's amazing. I feel so close to all of them that it's making it even harder to think about leaving.

It's funny how I feel so connected to China through food. When I first lived here, the man who I went to for fried rice learned my name. The little restaurant on campus where I would eat my Kung Pao Chicken and fried potatoes knew exactly what we liked and treated us like family. Now on my new street, I have a fried noodles lady who likes me to hold her baby girl and teach her English. They call me "The pretty American with emerald eyes"(at least that's what my Chinese friend told me) and they always add extra green onions and cabbage to my fried noodles. My market lady knows that I usually want 3 bananas, 4 carrots, several potatoes and 2 onions. She knows that I like eggplant and broccoli and don't like peas or soy beans. And the vendor on the corner knows that I'll always buy diet coke or coke zero from her whenever they have some.

It's these little things that I'll miss so deeply. Street food is amazing, but even more amazing are the connections with the people. They smile and praise me any time I learn more Chinese to use with them, they notice if I've done my hair differently, they tell me about their kids. There's nothing like it anywhere in the States, and I'm trying to savor every last moment of it. Who would have thought that on random streets in a random city in China, I'd feel so at home.

The end is in sight

It's been a while since I was actually committed to blogging, but there are a few things from this time in China that I want to remember, so it's time for a good ol' random bits and pieces post!

1. There comes a day in every girl's life when she must realize that she will never be a professional ballerina:

For me, that day was about a month ago. In early childhood I had grand aspirations to become a famous ballerina. And I suppose that there has always been a TIIIINNNNY part of me that believed that, if the opportunity came along, I could still be trained a la one of those reality shows where they take a nobody and teach them. I'm not ashamed that the delusion lasted a full 26 years.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to stick with my day job. A month ago our school decided that for their big 8-year anniversary celebration, all the teachers in the department would have to perform a traditional Tai Chi dance. Schools around here do this often, they hire you to teach English and then you discover that on random occasions you will be required to sing, dance, act, announce, and various other forms of playing monkey for the entertainment of the students. We gathered on the first day of practice and I was optimistic...I thought it would be cool to come away from China knowing a traditional dance and having video of performing it in full costume in front of a couple hundred people. Then we saw the dance.

This thing involved full body lifts, swooshy-swoosh dips, crazy leg loopty-loops and all other forms of whatnot! The above terminology, by the way, is how I defined all of our moves, "now we lean back for the swirly-swirl, then the high hoopa, now a wooshy-tuck thingy." You can imagine how much my instructor loved me.

We spent two hours practicing and only mastered 12 SECONDS worth of the entire 8 minute dance! At first the instructor patiently took the foreigners through the moves, but eventually tired of the language barrier and our obvious ineptitude and gave up after the first hour, spending the second half of class speaking only to the Chinese staff. In turn, we foreigners quickly gave up too...throwing out suggestions that perhaps the performance would be better served by giving us Ribbon Dancers and letting us frolic among the real performers.

In the end, the performance was skipped by all of the foreign teachers for one reason or another. I don't think anybody really minded either. But after feeling my brain go all fuzzy by watching the instructor, trying to mimic his movements, and failing sooo completely, I had the coming-of-age realization that professional dance is, after all these years, not for me. Thank God that my "day job" is teaching English and having adventures in CHINA....not to shabby. So I'm still happy.

2. THE EPIC WIG PARTY

Last year for my 25th birthday, I donned a wig and had the time of my life. This year I wanted to extend the fun to all my friends. Wigs are for some reason, surprisingly plentiful here in China, so to kick off the summer and also to have one last, great, epic bash before we all leave China for good, I gathered my friends together for a wig party about a week ago. It was amazing. My only requirement was that everyone had to wear a wig and that they also preferably wear a monochromatic outfit to match whatever color they chose. We all met at a great new Western restaurant near my apartment, where the owner was so thrilled for the business that the staff all wore wigs as well and gave us huge discounts. We danced and sang karaoke and had a great time before moving on to another place and dancing the night away. All in all I think about 15-20 people came and we all had soooo much fun. When I am back in the States, I'll post pictures. I was in monochromatic pink for the night and will remember it forever.

Some of the wig partiers at Helen's

Bonnie, Tara and Bob, some of my awesome coworkers and friends

Chen, our favorite waiter at Helen's, and now a great friend, showing off one of his many wigs!

Me and Josh being wig fabulous

Nico, Bon, Louis and Me and all the wonderful colors

3. THINGS I'M LOVING

It's getting to the hard part of the year, and of this whole China experience: saying goodbye. I've lived here for three years, and the people I'm here with are family. We've celebrated Christmases, Thanksgivings, Easters, loves, anxieties, tiny triumphs and everything else together. So we're saying goodbye to each other and also having to say goodbye to all of China...which is something I really haven't come to terms with yet. I REFUSE to do the sappy-senior-year-"Oh my gosh this is our last cafeteria lunch, and this is our last locker visit, and this is our last blah blah blah" business...but it's hitting the emotions nonetheless. Sooooo....in denial, here are some things I've been really enjoying:

--My favorite music: I have decided that for me, there are 4 characteristics that make a song wonderful. I have yet to find a song that combines all four traits in one track, but if you know of it, please share. These 4 must-haves in Lucy music are: handclaps, countdowns/countups, harmonica, and electric fiddle. Handclaps and countdowns lately are the best...they never fail to put a smile on my face! ...TWO THREE FOUR...

--Chinese fashion: for some reason, it is fashionable for 30 year old women to wear Minnie Mouse barrettes. My students come to class with fuzzy teddy bears on their tshirts. And they are in grad school. It's hard to find heels that don't have pretty pretty plastic sparkly bows pasted and bedazzeled all over them. Yeah...on some days when I'm tired of China it repulses me, but lately I just find it hilarious. I love it. It's so random and out of place and weird...but it's what they wear.

--I found episodes of David Letterman online that aren't blocked...it's on China's version of youtube (which is still blocked) so it's not uploaded alll the time, but I'm still able to catch a little here and there. I miss late night TV so much, so it's really cool to have it now.

--Dragon Boat Festival: I had a few days off last week for Dragon Boat Festival. I may have written about this earlier, but here's one of the origin stories of the festival--there's another one that explains the boats, but I only heard this one (as I was told by my students): There was a nobleman/poet in ancient China who was really innovative and introduced a lot of reforms to the land. Other members of the royal court didn't like change, so accused him of treason. He was found guilty and was so depressed that his loyalty had been questioned that he drowned himself in a river. To honor him, during Dragon Boat Festival, the people go drop rice or bread or zongzi (the traditional food of the festival, it's meat or raisins wrapped in sticky rice which is then wrapped in a bamboo leaf and steamed...not bad) into the river SO THAT THE FISH WILL EAT THE FOOD AND NOT THE BODY OF THE SUICIDAL POET! It's so dark and creepy of a tradition...the students all laughed when they were telling me...for some of them it was the first time they had viewed it from an outsiders perspective and actually thought about the tradition. I love it. We have plenty of creepy nonsense traditions too with our holidays, so it's fun to find the ones from other cultures. These days, very few people make their way to a river to drop in rice...but it's funny anyway.

Ok, soon I'm sure I'll pull myself together to share what all of this experience has meant to me and whatnot, but for now this will have to do. I have about a month and a half left of living in Wuhan, then will travel for a while. None of it seems real yet, but this weekend one of my best friends returns to the States, so I'm sure I'll have to face reality soon. Until then, enjoy your summer everyone!

Turns out, Soccer is pretty fun!

I haven't blogged in a while, mostly b/c it's a chore using these proxies and also b/c I've had plenty on my plate, but I had to take a break this afternoon to share what's been happening among the foreigners here in China. It is, obviously, THE WORLD CUP.

It started last week and I didn't really register that it would be anything significant in my life. Or in China. But I was wrong.

Although China doesn't have much of a soccer league and isn't participating in the Cup, the country seems pretty jazzed about it. This year a large number of Chinese league soccer officials were fired on charges of massive corruption, and there is a small whispered hope in some editorials and among some of my students that next year might hold a chance of reform, leading to the hopes of one day joining the world in competition. There's also plenty of cynicism that it will never happen...but the conversation is there.

Mostly, however, the World Cup as I've experienced belongs to the ever growing waigoren (foreigner) population in Wuhan. Wuhan, over the past year especially, has turned into one of China's newest boomtowns as China invests capital and infrastructure development into more central Chinese cities. I'm not sure if it's due to this or to the fact that I have larger exposure to the hangouts and enclaves of foreigners through my company and new friends, but Wuhan has blossomed into a place with a few great bars and restaurants catering to the foreign students, teachers, researchers and businesspeople of the city. And they all seem to know the importance of the World Cup to this displaced population.

And so, despite the fact that the 3 daily games of the World Cup are shown live at 6:30 pm, 10 pm, and 2:30 a.m., these places are staying open all night, and it seems, each night, are filled with people watching. I honestly don't know how these soccer fans are going to keep this up for a month, but several of my friends have loyally attended each night of the first week! I've been to two nights so far, and tonight will be up until 4 or 5 in the morning to watch the US play at 10 followed by England at 2:30.

So here's the thing, I know absolutely NOTHING about soccer except that it doesn't hold a candle to my favorite sport of FOOTBALL. I'm skeptical of any sport that allows games to end in a tie on a regular basis and in which one fluke shot could determine a winner even when the shot is made by a team that is consistently inferior throughout an entire game. I like a narrative to my sports, a systematic drive towards a goal, and a confidence in the outcome being based on the events of the ENTIRE game, instead of chance or luck or whatever. And soccer doesn't seem to fit these needs. Plus, Americans aren't very good at it.

However, I'm a sucker for any type of communal passion. I think it's one of the closest secular experiences of the Kingdom. Well..sometimes. And I have several British friends, so it was worth getting into the Cup just to bring out some Revolutionary War era trash talk during the US-England game. When else can you call someone a redcoat and so frequently reference the Boston Tea Party, right? I even got in a few jabs at Churchill while I was at it. Hilarious.

So I'm on the bandwagon. And it turns out, soccer is fascinating. I started reading up on the World Cup just to store away enough knowledge to a) not look like a total idiot, b) find a few clever conversation starters--"they sure don't make em like Pele anymore these days" "yeah, but what about the loss of a Brazil's artistry in all of this?" and c) find more ways to trash talk my British friends.

A note on objective b: it's AMAZING when you find one-liners that get people all riled up! It's like magic, you utter one sentence in a crowd and they all go crazy about the topic, carrying the conversation and you just sit back and enjoy what you started. With Canadians, all you ever have to do is say, "So, how bout those Albertans, eh?" and they're off like rockets! Seriously, try it! You will not need to speak another word for the next hour while they share with you all the ways that the people of Alberta are either destroying or saving their country. With soccer fans, so far, a few lines have been: "But what about this new ball they're using?" and "so if Argentina doesn't win, will you still think Lionel Messi is the greatest player in the game" and "Does it really matter WHO the coach is during play?" So far, these lines allow the people who really know what they're talking about to go on and on...while you sit back and eat their french fries.

Moving on-- so I've been reading up on "football" and after a few podcasts, and cursory readings of ESPN and the NYT World Cup section, have more of an idea of what's at stake, how teams advance, and the amazing endurance that it takes to win a tournament like this. This is a MONTH and soccer has to be one of the more totally-mess-with-your-head games that exist. I will say that I truly feel that soccer requires more actual SKILL than any of our major American sports. But for all that skill, the element of luck plays a greater role than any of our sports as well. It's incredibly frustrating. And fascinating.

So I'm hoping that the US can hang in there for a few more games and actually have a shot at advancing to some of the quarter finals at least. I doubt that we will, especially b/c our tie w/England was based solely on the British goalkeepers error (not much pride there). But I want us to. Then, I'm moving on to pull for either Argentina or Brazil. Anything could happen. I'm enjoying the camaraderie for now...but I will say...I return to the U.S. this year just in time for NFL season. sooo....Go Titans!

Josh, Me and Anney dressed up for the US game in the World Cup

My nails all done up for the US game in the World Cup

The dreaded visit

I made it nearly 3 years before I finally caved. Millions of speeches to concerned Chinese friends or coworkers, countless explanations and feelings of superiority have passed...until this past month.

I went to the hospital.

Every time that I've had just a cold, or a stomach bug, or even been feeling just a little "down", I've been told that I should go. And I've refused. I've spent many cell phone minutes explaining that "sometimes we just get sick" and that all we need is rest and maybe some OTC wonder. I've even called a doctor friend in the U.S. to confirm that I was correct in my home remedies (thanks Dr. Watson!). And I've been fine!

I've been through food poisoning, parasites, a kidney stone, countless colds, allergies, a huge allergic reaction to some shrimp hidden in my food, and whatever else with nothing more than my bag full of meds that I brought from America, sometimes picking up some prescriptions from a pharmacy (you don't need written prescriptions from doctors to pick up what you need, and since many have the english (is it english?) name, you can find out what you need and pick it up on your own), and lots of water.

But yes, our friends and coworkers over here are usually quite insistent that what we should really be doing is going post-haste to the hospital. And after a recent spat of bad health, I finally gave in.

The "hospital" here is also what we would call "the doctor's office." I'm not sure, but from what I can tell...there aren't really "doctor's offices" over here....the hospital is the only option.

Two weeks ago I came down with a cold and an intestinal bug simultaneously. After 2 days of whatnot, I realized that no amount of drinking water was keeping me from dehydration, and no amount of pepto was fixing the problem. With the cold and cough I was worried that the flu had got me, so I finally shrugged my shoulders and followed a Chinese friend to the hospital.

Then again yesterday, I came down with the same stomach bug and was worried that it was a recurring thing. After a day of vomiting, I again called up a friend and made my way back.

The first thing you notice about the Wuhan hospital is the level of you-it-yourself efficiency. This cuts the wait time in half, but if you're shaky and nauseous, it's also a chore. First you register and get what looks like a credit card with your patient number on it, and a little booklet for the doctor to write you diagnosis in. They don't keep records themselves and the only patient files are the booklets that you carry yourself.

Then you see the doctor--in both cases I was sent to the emergency room, though I'm assuming that might be because I'm a foreigner? I was seen immediately in an informal setting...a small room with about 5 other patients waiting. The doctor heard my symptoms and sent me for blood work (and a chest xray the first time). The doctor prints out a list of the procedures that you need, then you walk to the cashier and pay for them. They swipe your card and you walk to the blood station, or the x ray room or whatever.

When your results are ready, you go to a little electronic station and swipe your card, and the station prints out your results. I was given my xray to keep--it's now decorating my refridgerator. Then you walk back to the doctor and let him/her read the results and write in your booklet the diagnosis.

From there, it's back to the cashiers to pay for your prescription, then to the prescription station to swipe your card, which is like placing an order because they immediately pull it together from behind the desk. You pick up your prescription and then head to the dreaded transfusion room for your treatment.

This was why I've avoided hospital visits since I began living here. In China, the doctors all prefer to put patients on IV drips over prescribing pills. From what I've heard, the Chinese (generalization) don't like taking pills, and often stop taking them as soon as they begin to feel better, instead of completing the full round of medication. This can lead to the creation of superviruses or superbacteria or other horrible things. So they get IV treatments here instead. Sometimes the procedure can be completed in one day, but sometimes the patient must return for 3-7 days in a row for an IV treatment every day. Ugg.

So yeah...I get a little squeamish about IVs. It's just weird having a needle stuck into your arm. My first trip, I begged the doctor for pills instead. My translator just kept saying "IV is better. Doctor say IV is better." The second trip, I didn't even bother.

After walking all around the hospital, swiping cards and picking up test results, you get your prescription and take it to the transfusion room, which is a large room filled with about 100 chairs with metal poles mounted to the sides of them. The dead and dying sink into the chairs languidly and stare into nothingness (dramatization). You wait your turn while they mix your meds into an IV bag and sit at the counter while they inject you, then follow a nurse through the maze of bodies, filled with terror that someone will trip and rip the cord out of your arm. You are placed in a chair and your bag is hung from the metal pole above you, while an old man gapes open mouthed at you, the foreigner across the aisle. And then you sit, for an hour or longer (two and a half today), while a nearby tv showcases an American Idol style show with girls in glittery too-toos singing Beijing opera.

When your drip is done you press a little button next to your chair, the nurse comes and removes your needle, and you go home. I will say that the drip did work wonders with whatever intestinal bug I've been getting. And that the whole thing is AMAZINGLY cheap...I think I spent the equivalent of $40USD for a chest xray, blood test, and IV drip the first time, and about $20USD for the blood test and IV drip this time. It was also fast...from entry to transfusion room, I never had to wait in line for longer than 5-10 minutes.

So I'm a little over my fear of the hospital, but am also hoping that those two experiences will be the only ones I have. And despite the fast service, I will say that I miss being assigned a room and being able to sit and wait while the doctors and nurses gather my test results for me and bustle in and out. It was pretty difficult having to stand and walk all around from here to there....but I can see how it speeds things up.

According to the doctor, my first visit was a stomach virus and my second one was food poisoning. All in all, I'm thankful that I haven't had any more serious troubles and that I've had Chinese friends to join me and help translate for me. I feel like a pro at living in China now--the thing I was most hoping to avoid has come and gone and come again...and I'm still ok! And now able to share with all of you the experience! I wish I could post pics because I took a couple today...maybe when I return to the US I'll have a couple a picture posts to finish out my Chinablog existence!

That'll show 'em!

So I was reading China Daily, the main english language newspaper published over here and had to laugh at this story.

One feature of fast food in China that I'll miss is that both KFC and McDonalds offer home delivery. You call and within 30 minutes, a guy on a little electric bike with a heated box on his back appears with your food. It takes laziness and gluttony to new levels.

So apparently last week, KFC had an online promotion where customers could go online at 10 a.m., noon, and 5 p.m. (or something like that) and print off coupons to bring in for what must have been a pretty good discount. But after the 10 a.m. promotion time, the stores began seeing the coupons for the other two times showing up in the stores, despite the fact that they hadn't yet released those coupons online. Since they were unable to discern between authentic coupons and the counterfeit coupons, the main KFC office told all stores to discontinue the promotion and stop accepting any coupons. The KFC stores posted signs on the doors saying that they wouldn't take any coupons for the day but didn't explain the reason behind the change in plans.

Customers in one city were apparently pretty peeved that their coupons were rejected and found what I consider to be a pretty clever way of showing their displeasure. After not finding a satisfactory response for the rejection, about 18 customers took seats inside the KFC and waited...

for McDonalds delivery!

That's right, they called McD's for their meal, had it delivered to the KFC down the street, and sat there eating in protest. It's just so catty and shows such gumption that I wish I were there. As Katera put it, it was a KFC Sit-In!

If only we could direct the righteous indignation towards more worthy causes...but for now, it was a story that made me smile.

The little quirks of language

Some of my students at one of our school picnics (Tomorrow, West, Alice and Anita)

Wendy, Alice are two of my favorite students

Josh and I hanging out at a company function

I do a great deal of co-teaching with my new company, which is a nice feature that combines a native speaker with a Chinese teacher for the class. At its best, it's a really helpful combo--if I can't explain an idea, the Chinese teacher can translate for me, if they need added cultural references, the native speaker provides it. The operation reminds me of the adage, "A natural baseball genius shouldn't coach." There are some tweaks of language that are really difficult for a native speaker to explain...because we just DO it, or SAY it...and we don't know why. A Chinese teacher who has studied and mastered the language can explain why to students who are going through what they went through to grasp English.

However, at its worst, sometimes co-teaching involves the teacher delivering the whole class without making any use of the native speaker. (Or visa versa, I'm sure) As part of the idea of "saving face," the native speaker is NEVER to correct a Chinese teacher in front of the class. This means that if you are co-teaching with a teacher who doesn't see the need for a native speaker in their class, you must sit back as countless little errors make their way into the English speaking world. Ultimately, it doesn't matter much--the kids will improve anyway and it's not helpful to nitpick. But the other day, I was bored sitting in a class and not teaching...so I started making note of some of the errors. Some are not actually errors, just over-thought explanations for usage. Here are some of the things my students were taught:

AGAIN, let me say that this is not a big deal AND that many of these teachings stem from the fact that we native speakers have the innate ability to choose one word over another...while the ESL teachers are forced to come up with some REASON or METHOD to explain WHY. And OBVIOUSLY from a quick scan of this blog, my respect for the sanctity of English grammar and vocabulary is somewhat lackluster. This isn't to make fun of the Chinese teachers, it's just to laugh at how hard it is to teach a foreign language:

-Do not EVER say "you choose"...instead say "it's up to you"

-softball is baseball played with a cushy ball

-when a "love triangle" includes more than 3 people, you must call it a "love rectangle," "love pentagon" etc

-when describing a "3rd wheel", you can also have a "5th wheel" or "7th wheel"

-say "I need some minutes" when you need a break

-If referring to 50% of people, do not use the word "some," instead choose the word "many."

-Americans never eat vegetables, and when they do, there are only 5 that they eat, and they are always boiled

-say "office worker" instead of "business person"

-you must always open a conversation with a British person with a comment on the weather.

-pronounce "hurricane" as "hurri-cun" and "volcano" as "voe-can-a"

-calling someone "skinny" or "thin" is always an insult

-it's okay to describe someone as "fat," but you should probably say "obese" instead...which is pronounced "obase"

-explaining a body-type as "pear shaped" or "apple shaped" can extend to whatever vegetable/fruit you happen to think that person resembles..."potato shaped," "carrot shaped," "cucumber shaped," were some examples

-Finally (and this falls more under "ESL Students say the darndest things), students gave a presentation on marriage customs and throughout the presentation referred to "firecrappers" without being corrected by the teacher. I mentioned to them after class dismissed that it was "firecrackers" instead. The 4th grader in me was giggling though.

Wow--I'm here again!

A little shot of my favorite part of Wuhan, public dancing in all the main squares and intersections across the city every weekend evening

If anyone still checks this blog, I'm still here in China! The internet proxies we use to access blocked sites keep getting shut down and then new ones pop up just as fast, so it's a whirlwind when it comes down to it. This one is working NOW, but who knows, maybe by the time I finish this post, will have disappeared. Still no pictures.

Things over here are great, winter has passed and all of Wuhan is blooming. I live near the famous Wuhan University, which every Spring is inundated with photographers and tourists for its huge assembly of blossoming cherry and plum trees. I also live near East Lake, the largest city lake in China (or something like that), which also has a park of blossoming trees and beautiful scenery. This means on sunny weekend days, this side of the city is teeming with more crowds than I've seen during my whole stay in China. It also means traffic gridlock.

So for all the wonders of the weather, I've been doing A LOT of walking! Ahh, Wuhan. The city is in the middle of major bridge and tunnel construction, building a subway and elevated highways all over the place. Since it is doing this construction simultaneously, shutting down or narrowing major boulevards for future glory, we're all in a bit of a funk, traffic wise. It seems that at any gathering of friends, we all arrive disgruntled and tired from crammed buses, insane taxis, and aggressive foot traffic. I miss the days of a Sunday stroll!

pic of some ever present Wuhan construction

But, China is still worth it! I'm mostly just updating in case I don't have a chance in the future, so I'll leave you with an edition of "ESL students say the darndest things!" (some of these might be altered by my memory)

-- A few months ago I invited a student over to my place for brunch. However, I didn't realize that my text message spelled brunch as "crunch" until the student replied that she'd love to have "crunch" with me and really looked forward to it! I imagine her searching the internet for the explanation of the Western "crunch".

--Also a few months ago, in class as I was teaching, my whiteboard marker dried up. A student raised his hand and said he would go get me some "extraordinary markers." "Wow," I thought, looking forward to having a marker deemed extraordinary. China is a nation of superlatives, but I found it puzzling. The student brought me two normal markers, and needing to move on with class, I forgot. Until after class, when the student showed me the supply closet stocked with "extraordinary pencils, extraordinary markers, and extraordinary stools." I almost didn't want to correct him, after all, wouldn't it be nice if we viewed all "extra" items as "extraordinary"! Maybe we'd see life in a much more positive light!

--A friend had to cancel a meeting with a student. When she apologized for the schedule change, her student replied that it was ok and that "Maybe it's my patience that will lead to our great meet!"

--After class, I joined some students at a city park that has some amusement rides. The students were so excited that we were going to ride the "multi-touch cars" or the "touch each other cars" or the "touch touch cars". Finally, I convinced them that it was Chinglish and to start saying "bumper cars" instead. They must have misheard me, because later that night I got an email from a student saying that she had so much fun on the "touch-and- bump-her-cars".

--In a culture class discussing the words for dating and relationships, I asked my students what we call a woman who is "with" a married man...ready to teach "mistress" and "the other woman." Students yelled out in unison "Second milk!" which is the direct English translation of their word for it. Except for one student, who instead yelled out "Sl_t!" I know it's inappropriate, but it was pretty funny.

--I teach a video class where I show a DVD with actors from the early 90s showing various scenarios; ordering food in a restaurant, asking for directions, etc. In one video, a man is at the office and has a cold. We pause the video to practice the English words for his symptoms. For some reason, all of my students told me he had a "snoofy nose and cottled throat." I still can't figure out where that came from!

That's all for now! We'll see how much access I have in the coming days and I'll try to update when I can! Take care and enjoy the Spring!