I think I may be on automatic pilot right now, to be honest. There are too many emotions swirling around inside of me to single any out for blogging. I'm excited to come home, I'm terrified of coming home to a different existence, I'm exhausted of China, I know I'll miss China, I'm living "in between" worlds, I'm living in this moment....all of it is too much to dwell on. Sometimes I feel like we try to find meaning in all of our comings and goings--and it makes us forget that all of life is really nothing but comings and goings--sooo--I'm trying to just live today and take tomorrow as it comes. Maybe I'm not always doing a very good job at it though.
You would think that I probably spent my day packing--but if you have learned anything about me, you would KNOW that that didn't happen. I did have all my laundry ready to pack at least. But no--today I stared at the stuff I have to pack for a little while--then left to go get lunch. Then I stared at it all a little while longer--then I went and spent a few hours with Denglin getting our nails done. Then I stared at it all longer, washed all my dishes, and put some things into piles and moved my suitcase into my bedroom--then I went to meet a friend for coffee. We stayed at Starbucks for a few hours. Then I came home and moved all my piles together nearer to my suitcase--then I got online and am now typing this blog.
It'll get done eventually.
What's funny about all this is that not only do I have to pack for two months in America--but I also have to MOVE OUT of my apartment! The school is redecorating while I'm gone--so all of my personal belongings must be moved into the empty apartment across the hall. Thankfully, the school is providing some helpers for that--so tomorrow I really just have to supervise them as we move everything next door. I guess I'll at least put some things into piles for them though...
Ok--I really shouldn't put this off any longer. I guess I'll go pack.
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